Dawn of the Unflankables

Chapter 29: Concoction Joction

What's your foction?

Having crossed the river, our heroes soon find themselves in the forest surrounding Addertown. They begin to see the occasional Yuan-Ti hut, each a little ways off the path. They remember the advice they were given and steer clear of them. Before long, they reach the rustic village of Addertown. The town consists of one long path lined on either side with buildings, many of them sporting swinging doors.

It is early evening and Ulfgar and Ryndir decide to stop off for a drink. They head to the nearest tavern, aptly named The Swinging Door. Pineroot, Darksex, and Azaghal decide to pay a visit to Mognan, the town’s master concoctionist, to pick up the Lunar Brew for Jack Carver. When they locate the concoctionary, Darksex quickly learns that the door is NOT of the swinging sort, slamming into it to no effect. Pineroot opens the door using the knob and the heroes’ entry is announced by a tiny bell.

The concoctionary is a site to behold. Though the floor space is small, the room is lined with shelves bedecked with flasks, jars, and vials, all with different colored contents. The three Unflankables peruse the various potions and elixirs like kids in a candy store. Darksex lifts Pineroot atop his shoulders and the gnome excitedly reads out the labels on the top shelf. Of particular interest is an expensive glass skull filled with a shimmering red liquid labeled Skeleport Potion.

A door opens from behind the store’s counter and an elderly man walks out. Despite his age, the fellow is easily seven feet tall, with long grey locks and an old tossle cap. Pineroot finds himself face-to-face with the disheveled man who greets them in a low, soft-spoken voice. The man is Mognan, the famed concoctionist, and gladly answers the adventurers’ questions about his many mixtures. While Pineroot gets down from Darksex’s shoulders, Mognan explains that the Skeleport Potion teleports the skeleton outside the body of those unfortunate enough to ingest it. Pineroot buys some Buff Salve and a Potion of Growth. Darksex buys some Liquid Arcana, Truth Serum, Fog In A Jar, and the Lunar Brew. Azaghal doesn’t buy anything due to low funds.

The three Unflankables depart from Mognan’s and amble about town. They stop for a drink at the town well. Darksex has tasted better. Pineroot has tasted browner. Darksex decides that the well is boring and starts to gather stones. Pineroot and Azaghal join him and they soon have ten stones between the three of them. They head to some trees behind some buildings and throw the stones at them. Darksex misses. Pineroot hits a tree, but not the one he claimed he would. Azaghal ricochets a rock off of a tree and hits Darksex with it.

Meanwhile, Ryndir and Ulfgar have left The Sliding Door and head to Mognan’s concoctionary. They are similarly engrossed in the wares of the tall man, especially the different poisons he sells, apparently without any ethical weight on his conscience. Ulfgar decides not to buy anything, but Ryndir purchases a jar of Kua-Toa Paste, some Wyvern Poison, and a decanter containing the Essence of Snake. Mognan gives them familiar warnings about the Yuan-Ti and the heroes depart.

Ulfgar spots their comrades throwing rocks and heads over to them, followed by Ryndir. Darksex really wants to explore the forest, strongly hinting that he wants to talk to a Yuan-Ti. Ulfgar wants none of it and heads to the town’s Rusty Kettle for some more liquid sustenance. Azaghal, salty over his lack of funds, also heads to the Rusty Kettle to try and make some money. Pineroot and Ryndir decide to join Darksex on his endeavor.

Dwarf, elf, and gnome head into the dark to look for Yuan-Ti, sticking to the path. They discuss the theory that everyone in Addertown is just racist and that the Yuan-Ti really aren’t so bad. Pineroot decides to ask nature about the snake-men. He tries to commune with a squirrel, but quickly realizes that it is a dead one. He spots a bat in the sky and begins to squeak. Darksex and Ryndir are weirded out, but Pineroot swears that the bat told him that Yuan-Ti were scary. The three decide that they can continue their forest safari in the morning and start heading back to town.

Darksex suddenly shouts that it’s a race and takes off down the path. Pineroot is caught off guard, but easily catches up to the dwarf. Pineroot seems to be the clear victor, but Darksex misty steps at the last moment, beating the ripped gnome to town. Ryndir brings up the rear, out of breath and a tad inebriated from before. They head to The Rusty Kettle to find Ulfgar.

They find their dwarven friend at the bar where they peruse Addertown’s special list of brews. Ulfgar buys a round of Demon Blood shots, known for their guaranteed hangovers. Pineroot also buys a glass of Elemental Earth Brew and Darksex orders a glass of Myconade. The heroes have a grand old time, drinking, shouting, and watching Azaghal from across the room. The tiefling has taken to retelling the tales of the Unflankables through interpretive dance. The patrons are actually super engrossed by his artistic muse and he makes a little gold for his trouble.

Ulfgar challenges Pineroot to join him for another Demon Blood shot. Pineroot accepts, his Elemental Brew effectively boosting his confidence. Darksex is feeling the hallucinogenic effects of the Myconade and writhes on the floor trying to escape from invisible blankets. Ulfgar challenges Pineroot to bench-press Darksex, and the gnome quickly lifts the dwarf from the floor. Darksex is too engrossed with removing his blankets and his wriggling causes the heavily intoxicated Pineroot to topple backwards onto the floor. Azaghal, having gained the attention of some of the ladies, as well as a couple dudes, sends his fans over to the heroes at the bar.

A wonderful time is had by all, and Darksex soon brings up the Yuan-Ti again. He vows that there’s nothing scary about snakes and that they should go hang out with the snakes and that even the heroes look like snakes, though the last part may or may not have been due to the Myconade. Inhibitions nowhere to be found, the heroes are wholeheartedly in for the venture and begin to chant, “Snakes, snakes, snakes!” Determined to meet a Yuan-Ti, the heroes swagger out into the night, as the remaining Rusty Kettle patrons continue chanting, “Snakes! Snakes! Snakes!”

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