Dawn of the Unflankables

Chapter 7: Night Hunting

Following the eventful night beneath Stonehelm, our heroes spend the morning snoozing in their caravan. At the stroke of noon, the heroes park outside the city and enter by foot, leaving Smugs, Gale, and Azaghal to mind the wagon. The guards recognize them and let them pass.

The party heads for The Backburner, one of the most seedy taverns in the city. They buy some brews and brown water and choose a table in the corner. One table in particular catches their attention as a few excited goons prattle on about a multiple murder that occurred the previous evening. The city guard is apparently on lookout for a dwarf and a tiefling that were spotted near the site of the massacre. The murder sounds mighty familiar to Pineroot and Rindyr. The dwarf sounds familiar to Darksex, apparently now a wanted man.

The group heads to the marketplace to try and get some more information. A pair of salesmen catch their attention. They each appear to be selling some kind of food; they call them “bereedos”. They yell obscenities at each other, trying to steal customers. Darksex buys a bereedo from one man, while Pineroot buys one from the other. They both taste like shitgarbage. Ulfgar listens in on a conversation between a guard and man selling elpaca sweaters. The guard describes Darksex and Ulfgar takes that as a sign for the group to get out of the city. Pineroot buys another bereedo for Smugs and the group leaves the city (Darksex heavily hooded and freshly shaved).

A quick stop to see Castor reveals that guards have been searching the catacombs. He was able to grab a few of the explosives for Ryndir before the guards found the rest. The heroes decide that the best plan of action is to take down the mysterious syndicate that started the whole mess. They wait until evening and Ulfgar spots a pillar of smoke among the trees.

The heroes creep through the woods to the edge of a small clearing. A group of twenty men are encamped there, a fire blazing among them. Three of the men shout angrily at one another. The topic of their conversation is clearly their botched bombing and the “idiots” they hired to do the job. Easily outnumbered the heroes hatch a plan.

The heroes take their positions behind their trees and Darksex conjures his shadow butler. Ryndir gives it one of the explosives and it’s whisked high above the fire. Without warning, the butler drops the explosive and it plummets directly into the fire. A massive blast ignites everything in the vicinity and throws everything else back. Three of the men die immediately while the rest are engulfed in flames. Pineroot increases the chaos by conjuring the illusion of a goddess of flames, very well endowed, and strutting’ her stuff in the center of the fire. The heroes attempt a follow-up surprise attack, but it ends in a clumsy dogpile. Things quickly improve for our adventurers however as several more of the men succumb to their wounds.

Ulfgar is dropped with a sucker shot from the largest of the men. Pineroot looks a man in the eyes and watches him turn to ash. The shadow butler delivers a health potion, upending it into the mouth of the unconscious Ulfgar. With a surge of revitalized vengeance, he crushes the skull of his would-be killer with his warhammer. Darksex fries some crime with eldritch energy. Castor tears apart some of the men who managed to make it to their feet, while Ryndir peppers them with arrows. Smugs skewers a man entranced by the fire-boobs and hurls him into his voluptuous fate. Three of the men manage to escape into the forest, finally leaving one man prone amongst the horrifying scene. The heroes turn to question their new captive as the closing curtain drops.

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snakeskinjones

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